I was kind of waiting to make this post, I was supposed to get my rewrite of my narrative essay and also my compare and contrast paper back on Friday and I was hoping to be able to share some good news. Unfortunately the instructor did not have enough time to grade all of the papers so he ended up not giving any of them back.
I will attach copies of the re-write and the compare and contrast paper. Hopefully on March 25th I will be able to share some news about the grades I received. If you are a student and are on spring break this week enjoy your time off, and try to reflect on the things you have learned so far. If you are reading this and are not attending school yet I promise you the time goes by much faster than you expect it to. No matter who you are or what you're doing thank you for taking the time to read this.
The Birth of
a Father
I can still remember
that moment like it was yesterday; walking into St. Johns Hospital at 7:00 AM
on April 5th, 2007 and heading straight for the maternity ward. My
wife, Val, was scheduled to have labor induced and, whether I was ready or not,
I was going to become a father. Many things were going through my mind as I
wondered if I would be a good father or if I could teach new son the right
values. I desired to teach Christopher what I considered to be the right
values; values such as respecting elders, making sure to say “please” and
“thank you”, and always treating women respectfully. One thing was certain;
becoming a father was a breathtaking experience that would change my life
forever and would help me to mature, alongside my new son.
Once
induced, Val’s labor progressed normally at first. The contractions started and
became closer together. She became more dilated and it seemed I would be
holding Christopher in just a few hours. That was not the case; after a few
hours had passed a complication arose. Every time Val had a contraction,
Christopher’s heart rate cut in half. The doctors decided the best course of
action would be for an emergency Cesarean section. The doctors reassured us
that everything would be fine and in just a few minutes I would be in the
operating room, holding Val’s hand and talking to her while we waited to hold
our baby boy. My first lesson as a father came to me at this time; to be a
father you must be patient.
My
mother-in-law and sister-in-law joined me in the waiting room as emotions began
to course through my body. Nervousness, fear, excitement, and worry all set in;
I knew Val did not want to have a Cesarean section and it felt like hours had
passed before I was finally escorted to the operating room. Walking into this
cold, clammy, yet well lit room filled with doctors, surgeons, and nurses, I
was horrified by what was revealed to me. Val was lying on the operating table
with a tube down her throat, her eyes taped shut while her arms were spread
apart and strapped to the table. The anesthesiologist explained to me that the
local anesthetics had not worked and that Val had to be put under. I was not prepared
to see this, as this was certainly not the way we had expected Christopher to
enter the world. My second lesson as a father came to me at this time; to be a
father you must be prepared to be surprised.
A
good amount of time passed while I attentively listened to the doctors, nurses,
and surgeons talk about a variety of topics while cutting, poking, prodding,
and pulling at my wife. The following moment produced the most amazing sound in
the world. This was a sound that I could never forget; the sound of my child
crying for the first time. Christopher was born healthy with a full head of
hair. He seemed to have Val’s eyes and my nose; he was the perfect mixture of
both of us. My third lesson as a father came to me at this time; good results
are a product of tough decisions.
The
nurse asked me to follow her to the scale in the operating room, and I vividly
remember watching her administer three tests. Christopher was tested for his
hearing, vision, and APGAR (Appearance, Pulse, Grimace, Activity, and
Respiration). When the nurse was confident everything would be okay with
Christopher, she swaddled him tightly and passed him to me so that I could hold
Christopher for the first time. When I received Christopher into my arms, the
most amazing thing happened; he stopped crying and seemed to feel so
comfortable in my arms. This moment was one I will never forget as I was
ecstatic to realize my fourth lesson as a father; there is an instant and
unconditional love between Christopher and myself, a father and his son.
Christopher
and I were escorted to the nursery and were greeted by the smiling faces of
several friends and family members who were anxious to watch his every move.
Nearby, I found a rocking chair where we sat down, and began to talk to each
other. I told Christopher of the enthusiasm Val and I had felt in the
anticipation of his arrival as well as the joy I felt of becoming a father.
This experience seemed surreal. Christopher and I waited anxiously for his
mother, my wife, to return from recovery. We both became excited as the time inched
by, and we were finally going to be able to see her. When the time arrived for
Christopher to meet his mother, I cautiously carried him down the hallway to
Val’s recovery room. We walked into a faintly lit room filled with several
monitors and several more beeping noises. I could not wait to finally introduce
Val to our beautiful son. She was barely awake and seemed to be in a state of
panic. Val had so many questions about the delivery and immediately asked to know
if there were any complications with the delivery; I answered with a confident
“no”. When I finally handed our perfect baby boy to Val, the smile on her face
could have melted an ice berg. We were finally able to spend our first moments
together as a family. It was at this
time that a fifth lesson occurred to me; good things can happen to those who
are willing to wait.
After about an
hour, we headed back to our room
which was equipped with a television, DVD player, a couch which pulled out into
a bed, and a view of the parking lot. Over the next few hours, many of the
family and friends who were once watching us in the nursery came to visit the
newest member of our family and to also sign the matte that would surround his
baby picture, which we would hang in our house.
After visitation was over, a nurse came by and bathed Christopher, got
his footprints, and combed his hair. When the nurse had finished, she asked me
if I had ever changed a diaper before. I had told her “no” and she had stated
she was pleased to tell me the correct way to do so. Practice would make
perfect, so she carefully observed my method to make certain I could repeat
this after she had left.
After such a long, hectic, and exhausting
day, we were ready for bed. It felt like I had been sleeping for a matter of
minutes before Christopher awoke for the first time that night. I realized from
that point on, there would be many sleepless nights to follow. I also realized
that these sleepless nights meant I was a father now and had more to think
about than just Val and I. My priorities were to be reorganized, and I learned
my final lesson that night. I would be required to do what a good father does
for his family and put their needs ahead of his own.
The Battle of The Brothers
One
might expect having two kids would be simple math; caring for one and adding
another should equal twice the work. Much to my surprise, this has not been the
case. Simple math turned to exponentials and two children created four times
the work. I have two boys and the added work, if any, they create depends on
the situation. The first is nurturing, sweet, and caring; the second is tough,
protective, and self-driven. I had little idea how these two brothers would
clash, until Christopher and Lucas’ personalities began to show.
Christopher,
my first, has shown to be a very nurturing, sweet, and caring boy. He is ever
ready to help others, whether they are friends, family, or complete strangers.
I can recall one particular instance of how Christopher revealed his unique
personality to my wife and myself. It began when Christopher’s school was
hosting a fundraiser to build a new playground. This was Christopher’s first
year of school and he was still very new to kindergarten and the process of
making new friends. One day, Christopher came home from school with his usual
glimmer of hope in his eyes. He stated he had wanted to help his school build a
playground, and was determined to do something to make this happen. I remember Christopher
asked his mother, “Mommy can I take some money out of my piggy bank to give to
my school?” We were very happy to see the thoughtful side of Christopher’s
personality had begun to show. This was easily one of my proudest moments as a
father and led me to reflect on my other boy, Lucas.
Lucas
is a tough, rough, and protective child. Often times he does not realize how
much stronger he is than his peers and sometimes ends up playing too roughly
with his friends while playing. The more I think about Lucas, the more I
realize that he has been this way for most of his life. One example of this was
at a birthday party. Lucas wanted a turn on a video game, and he shoved an
older child so he could get his turn.
Watching Lucas throw another child to the ground was hard to watch.
Trying to explain to Lucas why this was wrong was not easy; he sometimes
has difficulty understanding right
from wrong and thought this was ordinary, acceptable behavior. As his parents,
my wife and I must sometimes remind him to be gentler and to use his manners to
get the things he wants, especially when Christopher is involved.
When
Christopher and Lucas are together, a battle is sure to begin. Lucas has no
problems with taking things from Christopher just to get his way. Often times
he resorts to hitting or yelling in an attempt to get what he wants. This
contrasts with Christopher, as he is polite and courteous; Christopher makes
sure to use his manners while asking for turns or when we are at the store, and
he asks for his favorite treat. One example of my boy’s differing personalities
occurred during playtime. Lucas, in what seemed to be his normal behavior, hit
Christopher because he did not like what his brother was up to. This is often
times exhausting and I tried a new approach; I finally told Christopher to stop
waving his white flag and to engage his enemy; I thought this may be their
expression of sibling rivalry. I remember fighting with my siblings during many
points in my life so I decided to find out how bad this could really get.
Christopher hit Lucas, and needless to say, global warfare began spreading
throughout the house. Their battle took place in the living room and ended as
Christopher retreated to his bedroom, with Lucas in full chase. Lucas thought
Christopher wanted to play, and that their fighting was the greatest thing in
the world. I figured these boys would limit their rough housing to just a few
minutes before they decided it was not fun anymore. This was not the case as I
had to break them up, all while waving my white flag as to say “I surrender”!
As things calmed down, I explained to Christopher and also to Lucas that this
behavior was unacceptable, even while admitting I had encouraged it just
minutes before.
In
conclusion, it may be that my boy’s differing personalities will seemingly
create endless fights when they are together. I hope that as they grow, they
will more often than not find a middle ground to hold a truce long enough to
have a few moments of peace. And as I reflect on this, I can remember the many
times that Christopher will read books to Lucas. I also think about the times
they walk around together at the zoo or even Mall of America
and holding each other’s hand.
Often times they look like the sweetest brothers anyone has ever seen. I have
realized over the past few years that their never ending war is a basic math
problem; it is a product of two boys who have many things in common mixed with
many things they do not. These boys will be sure to have more and more moments
which are peaceful, as they grow to understand each other more. Those moments
will certainly make me the happiest father alive as I have also grown to
understand that amongst all their squabbling and rough housing, these boys will
love each other unconditionally with their realization that they are each
other’s best friend and only brother.
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